White Coat Ceremony

Hello there. Are you tired of your current appearance? Have you grown weary of your day-to-day routine? Does your wardrobe exude an air of apathy, poor taste and questionable judgment, consisting solely of a lackluster array of uninspired outerwear for the [insert age demographic] on the go? Well, those days are over, my clearly low self-esteemed friend! What if I told you that you could instead look just like an official, full-fledged doctor, emanating confidence and success from each and every pore? How, you might ask, is this possible!? Just follow our patented* three step method!

• Step 1: Suit and tie? 

Check.

• Step 2: Official ID badge?

Check.

Now what was that last one again? Ah, yes...

• Step 3: Spiffy white coat?

Check!



DUN DUH NUH NUH!

Congratulations! You've now joined the ranks of 'first-year-medical-students-who-are-mistaken-for-real-doctors-and-treated-as-if-they-actually-know-something' all over the country. Don't worry. I'm sure you'll catch on quickly enough.

Now that I have been endowed with my official white coat, I need only to receive my stethoscope in the mail, at which point my ensemble will be complete. Patients, here I come! I'm told that if I act confidently enough, I'll be treated like a real doctor from the very start. Empowering? Certainly. Terrifying? ...A bit.

*Patent pending